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Are you speed dating your way through potential matches?

Written by Jennifer Barnes, contributing writer for JRetroMatch

Sometimes at SpeedDating we would get a guy or girl (sorry guys, mostly it’s you we heard this one from) who would show up to a program 10-15 minutes before start time, go through the entire process of registering, showing I.D., getting the run down of the rules, etc…

2-3 minutes before start time, they would return to the registration desk, hand back their blank dating cards, nametag, and pen and say “I’m going to leave”. Why? We ask. “Well, I took a look around and there is really no one here that is my type”. I bit my tongue every time I heard this, but boy was I itching to say…”oh, wow! How fortunate you are! You walk into a room, can focus in the smoke and dim lighting, then scan the crowd for about 7,8 minutes, can tell right away if the girls are for you, including all the ones who are in the ladies room, who haven’t shown up yet, and let’s not forget the ones at the bar with their backs to you. Gee, I guess you really don’t need our program after all, sorry to have wasted your time.”

Isn’t it funny how everyone considers marriage one of, if not THE biggest decision of one’s life next to religion and life/death and yet, there are those out there confident enough to know what that decision should look like from a 3 second glance. Yet, you have a decision to make regarding an electronic product, and G-d forbid you give it less than your full attention. Not sure what I mean? Let me try to explain; You are a typical male and want to buy a ‘big screen’ so that you can invite the boys over for Sunday sports, etc…First you ask your friends and family about their past experiences, models, recent purchases, scan the internet, consumer reports and magazines until you decide what companies have the best products overall. You might have already been to some stores for product ‘testing’ and have compiled your list, whether mentally or written as to the most important features you want, can/can’t live without, etc…and then to the final decision, what your price range is.

You read through tons of newspaper ads weeks in advance, surf the net some more, plan out which stores you are going to and even map quest if need be. You get up early Memorial weekend. Sometimes you grab a friend, sometimes you don’t. No matter, you are going to have a TV ordered by the end of the day. After all, there are only so many games before the NBA finals, and G-d forbid you should be stuck with your old TV! (or worse; without one).

You find yourself in the store and a salesperson approaching. You hope that he/she knows their stuff and not someone whose entire work experience can be summed up only after you leave. You have it narrowed down to 2 or 3 models. You can’t make up your mind. After all, you need to make sure they fit your requirements. Surround sound? Picture in picture? Size? Can you hook it up to your fax machine/ DVD/ I-pod/ Computer/ Treo? Is it spill proof against all the beer you and the guys will likely be consuming?

What about the remote? Did you almost forget about that? What shape is it? How many options can you do by remote? Can it open your front door? Fetch a beer? You rattle off all your considerations and concerns to the salesperson who asks you about color choices. You tell he/she it doesn’t really matter. The TV will be THE most important thing in your living room. You will remodel around it if need be. Getting the best performance for the best price is really what matters most.

The salesperson convinces you to forgot the DVD/ fax/computer feature, as it is too much trouble and hassle.

Three hours later, you have seen every model possible and even learned a thing or two along the way. Turns out your salesperson has let you in on some unknown facts. You know have it narrowed down to 2 models of equal consideration. They can both be delivered tomorrow, so in the end, you pick the one that for whatever reason, “speaks” to you the best. You know you’re in a win/win situation since you have done all your research and know you are getting a great deal either way. This is the point where you trust your gut.

You get to the register and pull out the cash you took out of the ATM. You fill out all the appropriate paperwork, delivery info and then you hear the total price. What?! It is $200 more than your price range. How did this happen?! What to do?! You are in a panic. You ask for an explanation. The salesperson calmly reminds you that during your three hours together you decided that you were not willing compromise on the features your new TV comes with. You debate with yourself for a couple of minutes. In the end know you are going to buy it. You are excited to get it in your living room, show it off to your buddies and spend endless hours of glee testing all its features. Without another moments hesitation you put the cash back into your wallet and pull out the plastic.

You leave the store without a doubt on your mind. You know you did all you could before and during the process to know you got a fabulous price on a fine piece of electronic. You know that it will be the start of some really great fun and excitement, but hope to never have to go through that experience again!

Imagine if I was the one selling that SpeedDater a TV. I can assure you he would have looked at me with shock written all over his face had I suggested he simply come back at closing time when half the lights were out, TV’s shut off, scan our selection, and pick a TV he thinks looks the best. He would tell me not to be ridiculous, accuse me of having no sense at all and mutter under his breath something about “girls and electronics”!

Jennifer Barnes is a contributing writer for She is a former Director of SpeedDating NY and has over 10 years experience organizing Jewish Dating and Jewish Singles events in the NY area. Jennifer met her husband in 2005 through, the Jewish Matchmaking site which is under the same management as

If you have comments about the article or would like to contact Jennifer, she can be reached at


1. Dear Jennifer,

If I went to your "store" for a big screen tv and all you had were small screens or older non High Definition models or worse yet those big tube based or even rear projection models when I'm there for the latest thin screen LCD, I'd walk out in a few minutes too after scanning your selection.


Hi Tim,

I agree with you that no one wants to be looking at "products" they're not really interested in.

The point I was trying to make is that so many people don't even do the appropriate research and homework on what "product" would best suit their needs. I was hoping to get people to think twice about what criteria and preliminary steps they are doing before trying to meet someone significant. Trying to explain and also remind them that the most important decisions in life should be paired up with alot of preliminary work.

Thank you for reading the article.

All the best,